Race Horses

[mikelbeck]

Three racehorses were sitting in a bar bragging to each other about their life accomplishments.

The first horse boasts "I've been in 59 races and I've won 35 of them."

"That's nothing," says the second horse. "I've raced 97 times, and I've won 78 of them!"

The third horse joins in: "Well, I've raced 122 times and I've won 102!"

Just then, the horses hear a voice say, "I've got you all beat!"

The horses look down and see a greyhound.

"I've raced over 200 times, and I have NEVER lost!"

The horses look at the dog in amazement.

One of them says "How about that! A talking dog!"

[cowbay]

:poke:That joke is so bad that it works.

[Art]

That reminds me of.......

THE COWBOY WHISPERER

Cowboy: 'That your dog?'

Indian: 'Yep.'

Cowboy: 'Mind if I speak to him?'

Indian: 'Dog no talk.'

Cowboy: 'Hey dog, how's it going?'

Dog: 'Doin' all right.'

Indian: (Look of shock!)

Cowboy: 'Is this Indian your owner?'
(Pointing at the Indian...)

Dog: 'Yep.'

Cowboy: 'How's he treating you?'

Dog: 'Real good. He walks me twice a
day, feeds me great food and takes me
to the lake once a week to play.'

Indian: (Look of total disbelief)

Cowboy: 'Mind if I talk to your
horse?'

Indian: 'Horse no talk.'

Cowboy: 'Hey horse, how's it going?'

Horse: 'Cool.'

Indian: (Extreme look of shock!)

Cowboy: 'Is this your owner?'
(Pointing to the Indian...)

Horse: 'Yep.'

Cowboy: 'How's he treating you?'

Horse: 'Pretty good, thanks for
asking, he rides me, brushes me down
often and keeps me in a lean-to to
protect me from the weather.'

Indian: (Look of total amazement)

Cowboy: 'Mind if I talk to your
sheep?'

Indian: 'Sheep lie.'

[mikelbeck]

Funny!

[novadose454]

i like that one

[Antisocial]

A jew, black and polish guy are in heaven when God comes to see them. God says it seems we had made a mistake, we took you two early so you can go back as any thing you want, all you have to do is take three steps, jump off the cloud and as you fall yell out what you want to be. The jew says my mother always wanted me to be a doctor so that is what I want to be. So he takes three steps, jumps off the cloud and yells "I WANT TO BE A DOCTOR", God looks down and says he will be a good doctor. The black guy says I always wanted to be a lawyer just like my boy Jonny C. so he takes three steps, jumps off the cloud and yells "I WANT TO BE A LAWYER". God looks down and says he will be a good lawyer. The polish guy says ever since I was a kid I wanted to be a fireman so he takes two steps, trips over his shoe lace, falls off the cloud and yells " COCKSUCKERRRR".

[Antisocial]

An 80 year old man meets a 20 year old girl and they fall in love. After dating for a year the girl says lets get married but the old man says no, being so old I can't please you like a younger man if you know what I mean. The girl says lets go to the doctor and see if they can help so they go. The doctor says that there is a new prosess that they are working on where they graft on a baby elephant's trunk instead of an implant and tests show it works great, so they talk it over and decide to do it. Everything works out fine and they are married. Thanksgiving comes and they go to her parents house for dinner. Momma brings out a bowl of baked potatos and puts them on the table. All of a sudden this elephants trunk comes out from under the table, grabs a potato and goes back. What the fuck was that, says the girls father and they explain everything to the family about the operation. The father says that was kreepy but can you do it again? The old man says yes I can but I have no room in my ass for another potato!

[novadose454]

? ? ? ? ?

[Antisocial]

Sorry, thought it was a joke thread.

[novadose454]

its ok..the question marks is for the last joke.....lol...but keep them comming...i enjoyed it..anyway.....

[Antisocial]

Did you ever see an elephant eat?

[novadose454]

ever see one with its trunk up another ones ass...?? .....now thats friendship...

[RICHIESBLOWN34]

I saw 2 elephants fucking in central park zoo in NYC years ago, my father ,rest in peace filmed it when I was a kid, now that was a sight to see !

[spikeybabe22]

LOL hahahaha

[novadose454]

make me a copy?......is the guy elephant wearing black socks..that was popular back in the day.....

[cowbay]

This is supposed to be true—today!!



A HISTORY LESSON

Do you know what happened this week back in 1850?

158 years ago California became a state. The State had no electricity. The State had no money. Almost everyone spoke Spanish. There were gunfights in the streets. So basically, it was just like it is today, except the women had real tits and the men didn't hold hands.